Friday, May 23, 2008

Call Center


Call Center


Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You

Click, Sale!

Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You
Click, Fuck You

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Brad joins the Navy



Apparently Brad, in a fit of post Angelina depression, declared his love for all things Navy and signed up for a tour of Iraq. Totally true. Believe what you read.

What? You don't believe Laser Face? Laser Face knows everything. Laser Face knows what you had for dinner last Wednesday. You had Lemon Marangue pie.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Point of Science


The point of science

The point of science is to open something up, and pull it's guts onto the table. From here you fondle the goo, pulling out all the little bits, proving they are your friends. Scientists are the bravest member s of society--after the gays. If you can prove these facts, then you must be a scientist yourself.

So go forth with this mentality into the world. Disect it for your own knowledge. Disect your friends without them even knowing it. Disect the mail lady; ask her how her husband is doing. Disect a tree, disect a book, disect an emotion. Don't worry about putting anything back together: a real scientist never cleans up their own mess.

The point of science is to prove the existence of an ultimate truth. Love, hate, truth, denial, time, space, among others, are all eternal. We can prove this by destroying everything and letting someone else put it back together. Go forth my monkey slaves, and annihilate.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Altered States in Teenage Slumber Parties


Everybody hates you cause nobody loves you cause all you do is mean things to people you flirt with the peoples you steal from the peoples you cry to the uncaring and now nobody likes you feel sorry for wet eyeballs the drugs keep you hyper till sun comes over buildings the morning makes you happy then anxiety is gone and you sleep under city trees police walk right by because this place has no crack heads and somebody likes you for that time you made them breakfast with vegan ingredients and then you masturbated to pictures on face book cause nobody takes you to New York for Sonic Youth shows and that’s why the Pulitzer doesn’t mean a thing on cocaine and sleep is for boring people with careers and little babies when you’re famous you think they like you but more people don’t like you and they only want you to fail so the best thing to do is be as weird as possible.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Taking my ego for a walk


Sometimes I take my ego for a walk
Just let it roam free
Accusing the sun of joy
Nesting with birds on stone cold windows

Sometimes I let my ego dance
Without attachment
I don’t laugh, I don’t cry
No future, no past

Nothing gets done
So I keep the leash attached
Oh ego I love you
And all the things you do

Without you I would never write
Never play guitar
Stay home on Friday night
Sex is meaningless

Happy, sad, angry
I’m not even sure what ego is
But I take it for a walk
We are good friends, or not

Fuck you, I love you

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Coffee Shop


Coffee Shop

People drinking coffee, staring

Some are having tea

Non fat milk

Man in camouflage, erection under pants

One woman, still obsessed with Dinosaurs

Drinking, sucking the hot liquids

Caffeine, replacing testosterone, estrogen

Mini society within the coffee shop

Baristas want to go home, watch Lost on ABC

Yell at their cheating boyfriend in the street

Where everybody can hear

Hopped up on caffeine, non-fat chai latte

Girl wants someone to pick her up

But when people talk, she acts uninterested

Old guy has dandruff, all over his black sports coat

He doesn’t care, he fought in Vietnam

He needs Earl Grey

Young student spells out the evils of consumerism

Nobody is listening, so he gets louder

One Asian girl finds this attractive

He might be her alpha male

But nobody is talking to her, because she’s ugly

Dance mix 99 on the stereo

Who listens to this crap?

Slurp back more caffeine, getting agitated

Thump, thump, thump, thump

Party time in the coffee shop

Yeah bitch. I swear in my head

Fuck yeah!

I can swear in my head in the coffee shop

Piss shit fuck slut whore pimp!

I’m rocking out to dance mix 99 on caffeine

With the woman dreaming about dinosaurs

And the horny guy in army fatigues

And the lonely girl

And the anarchist student

And the bored baristas

We are all in the coffee shop

Fuck yeah!

And I can swear in my fucking head bitch shit fag

Because unless there are psychics in here, nobody can hear me

And the sun is going down

People are all hopped up, ready to go home

Log onto face book

Only to stop and empty their bladders of caffeine

Before going out to get drunk, and attempt to mate

Except for the ugly ones, they don’t like to go out

They just go for coffee, sometimes caffeine free apple cider

Like little sissies, fuck shit bitch asshole pimp-hand yeah!

This is my coffee shop

And I can swear in my head