Bitch vs Ego

Bitch vs Ego

I met a woman through the friend of a friend
Her body screamed “sex!” in the minds of most men

I loved her, the bitch
Won’t look me in the eye
I never say “bitch”
But think it all the time

In random encounters I followed her lead
Like an invisible mutt, beaten and peeing
The more she ignored me-the more I adored her
Nymphetic charms
But not for me
I’m special, I’m here, not bitter—oh no!
I followed her walk, I chased her bike
I spoke on philosophy into the night
Only the crickets were listening

I found her on New Years
Drunk on Midnight
My wit was sharp from whisky
She saw me, didn’t smile
And made out with a short bearded hippie
At midnight
Oblivious to my bitter suffering
It’s hard to be charming when drunk, angry and needy

I took the poison and poured it on paper
The bitch, the slut, the nymph
I hate her!
I played my guitar, I screamed at the stars
Made love to my hand, and then
Later
Started a band

She likes musicians, or so I found out
After my gig, she followed me home
She trekked 2k, in the rain to my door
Drenched and sexy
We fucked in my room, we fucked in a tub
We even fucked fireside on a bearskin rug
Her skills were superb, far better than mine

She could sing, she could think, she was full of delights
She’s not a bitch at all
And then, one day, she asked to go steady
The woman that tortured me wants a boyfriend
Me
The artists, musician, writer
So brave, so proud
I sent her a letter…an email
“I’m not boyfriend material.”
Sincerely, my ego

Ideas are Slugs

Ideas are slugs

Ideas are wet-warm slugs
Sliding grease on dirt
Picking the nutrients
Discarding waste
Replenishing
I wonder what slugs think about
As they make their slow journey

I bet they’re very wise
The slow usually are
Coming out of soil
To avoid drowning
Antennae tasting humidity
Accepting the moment

And finally
Being eaten
By something
Because Ideas
Never die
Of old age

Orgasm Race

Orgasm Race

From your thighs to your soul
A desperate marathon
Every shaky step
An insurmountable ladder
Greased with lust
And city dust
As I push deep
Breath closed
You encourage with a moan
1978 unseen fans
Clapping in unison
Towards victory

Young prison guards

At ten
I lived by a river
I would go there to throw rocks
And imagine drowning
It would be easy
I would be swept away
I would listen and think
Not about the future
Or the past
Just about the river
And drowning
Not that I wanted to drown
But it’s reassuring
To know that I could

My cousin
Tall, awkward and gangly
Would catch animals
Yank them out
And drop them in a tub
Fish, Turtles, Worms
Then he would grab a rock
And drop it in the pool
The fish would move
I picked up a rock
And threw it hard
A near hit
We found bigger rocks
Some hit
We got a sling shot
That worked better
We got a BB gun
That worked great

Soon the tub
Was chunky brown
We would clean
Before Grandpa came home
To watch porn
Before Grandma came home
And we wouldn’t think about
What we’d done
And for some reason
We always let the turtles go

"I hate men"

I hate men

I met Rachael and Aaron
They were hating on Men
What’s the word for “hatred of Men?” I asked.
They didn’t know
It would be in the dictionary
Which was written by men
Where’s the one written by Women?
I would hide it well

How to find a lover

1. Get out of the house
2. Approach attractive person
3. Don't be needy
4. Talk
5. Get phone number
6. Make sex
7. Whatever